Below are the responses/chosen entries from our two guest judges, Cathy Bryant & Deborah Heal.
I am honored that they were willing to take the time out of their busy
lives to participate in this writing challenge! What a blessing! I'm
sure you will enjoy their insight! Thank you to everyone who participated!!
Stay tuned to Ritty's Writing Challenges for the next photo challenge! Click HERE and go to the comment section to read all the entries for this writing challenge.
From Deborah Heal:
I choose you,
Christina Banks! Your entry impressed me with its fluid, well-crafted
sentences. In a scene of just a few paragraphs you have characterized
the un-named narrator, set the time and place, and told a mini story.
With details about the barn and the dog and his first sight of Lizzie, you have captured his delirious joy of being home. I particularly love the last paragraph--the bit about "Lizzie's eyes." There is so much love wrapped up in that little phrase.
I can easily imagine this piece as the ending of a novel full of the woes of war and separation for the couple.
My only other comment is this: You may have sacrificed some opportunities for even more tantalizing details because you chose to make this excerpt too much of a whole story. If this really were only an excerpt from a real novel, some of the comments like "after two years of war" wouldn't have been necessary to the reader. However, with this sample of your writing talent I predict great success should you choose to make a complete novel out of this exercise. Good luck.
Please email me through the contact form my website and I will send you a copy of my book Unclaimed Legacy as a prize. http://www.deborahheal.com . Let me know if you would prefer a paperback or eBook version.
A Message to the Other Entrants:
Thanks to all the writers who participated. It was fun reading all your takes on the antique photo. It's always fascinating to me the way people have such different perspectives.
As a person who never wins anything, I was sad not to be able to choose all all of the entries. But alas, that's not possible.
Submitting a piece of writing is both fun and nerve wracking. It's so much fun to win and so disappointing not to. I know this first hand. I very nearly won the annual contest for fiction at my university. But I didn't. I felt somewhat consoled when my sponsoring creative writing professor told me later I would have placed if there hadn't been interdepartmental politics ruining the contest.
I can assure you, however, that there was no funny business going on with this contest. My advice to everyone: keep writing. My own dexterity with wrangling words and sentences improved noticeably (to me anyway, lol) when I began writing full time.
P.S. I'd love it if you all would like me (if only in the Facebook sense) so I can keep in touch. http://www.facebook.com/DeborahHeal .
Connect with Deborah via her website: http://deborahheal.com/ or her Facebook Page (see above).
From Cathy Bryant:
This was an enjoyable experience. To me, each entry was intriguing. I wish I could select every entry as the winner, as they were all very interesting. However, I have chosen Maree Long. As with one other entry—Christina Banks, I believe she has the makings of a great romance novel.
I found myself wishing I knew more of the backstory as well as what the future holds for Mr. Esmond and Miss Charlotte.
As judges for the contest, we were asked to offer helpful suggestions. As is often the case with my own writing, I noticed a couple of punctuation issues; but other than that, I loved the story.
As a prize for winning Rhonda’s writing challenge, my co-author and I will be sending Marlee our latest novel, Grandmother’s Namesake.
With details about the barn and the dog and his first sight of Lizzie, you have captured his delirious joy of being home. I particularly love the last paragraph--the bit about "Lizzie's eyes." There is so much love wrapped up in that little phrase.
I can easily imagine this piece as the ending of a novel full of the woes of war and separation for the couple.
My only other comment is this: You may have sacrificed some opportunities for even more tantalizing details because you chose to make this excerpt too much of a whole story. If this really were only an excerpt from a real novel, some of the comments like "after two years of war" wouldn't have been necessary to the reader. However, with this sample of your writing talent I predict great success should you choose to make a complete novel out of this exercise. Good luck.
Please email me through the contact form my website and I will send you a copy of my book Unclaimed Legacy as a prize. http://www.deborahheal.com . Let me know if you would prefer a paperback or eBook version.
A Message to the Other Entrants:
Thanks to all the writers who participated. It was fun reading all your takes on the antique photo. It's always fascinating to me the way people have such different perspectives.
As a person who never wins anything, I was sad not to be able to choose all all of the entries. But alas, that's not possible.
Submitting a piece of writing is both fun and nerve wracking. It's so much fun to win and so disappointing not to. I know this first hand. I very nearly won the annual contest for fiction at my university. But I didn't. I felt somewhat consoled when my sponsoring creative writing professor told me later I would have placed if there hadn't been interdepartmental politics ruining the contest.
I can assure you, however, that there was no funny business going on with this contest. My advice to everyone: keep writing. My own dexterity with wrangling words and sentences improved noticeably (to me anyway, lol) when I began writing full time.
P.S. I'd love it if you all would like me (if only in the Facebook sense) so I can keep in touch. http://www.facebook.com/DeborahHeal .
Connect with Deborah via her website: http://deborahheal.com/ or her Facebook Page (see above).
This was an enjoyable experience. To me, each entry was intriguing. I wish I could select every entry as the winner, as they were all very interesting. However, I have chosen Maree Long. As with one other entry—Christina Banks, I believe she has the makings of a great romance novel.
I found myself wishing I knew more of the backstory as well as what the future holds for Mr. Esmond and Miss Charlotte.
As judges for the contest, we were asked to offer helpful suggestions. As is often the case with my own writing, I noticed a couple of punctuation issues; but other than that, I loved the story.
As a prize for winning Rhonda’s writing challenge, my co-author and I will be sending Marlee our latest novel, Grandmother’s Namesake.
Connect with Cathy via her website: http://shop.bryantdormanbooks.com/ or Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/cathy.harveybryant/photos_all
